Its little helpless squeaking sound, it goes then it stops. It could be like the sound a little lamb makes. The sound gives you a gushy feeling in your heart that you need to help it. Something seems to slide under, sort of like a rough but soft sound at the same times. It makes the other be more high pitched. The under noise stops but the other noise keeps going steady then, it stops then it starts up again. It keeps going a high pitched sound like of comfort or struggle. It seemed like it was attempt trying to say something. The last sound was a nice, like it had accomplished what it wanted.
http://margaretnoble.net/blog/24-hours-old/
You did a good job on linking the assignment to your sound paragraph.
ReplyDelete"It could be like the sound a little lamb makes" This was an example of a simile she used in her second sentence.
You used very detailed descriptions like "Something seems to slide under, sort of like a rough but soft sound at the same time."
But in some sentences you didn't make a little sense so go back and try to put the sentences together in a form where they make sense of what your trying to describe.